Taking Care Of The Kids During A Divorce

A marital breakdown can be pretty rough on everyone involved, and none more so than the kids. It can be a time of stress and uncertainty for your little ones. Even if you are managing to keep things civil, they will understand and pick up on the fact that things aren’t going to be as they were before. So how can you make sure that the kids are taken care of during a divorce? Well, read on to find out.

Explain what is happening

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The first thing that parents often forget to do, when divorcing is to explain what is happening to their kids in terms that they will understand. It can be very difficult to break the news to your loved ones, especially your kids. Yes, they can take it badly. As for most children living with you both is all they have ever known. But just because the situation is a difficult one, it shouldn’t stop you having the conversation.

In the end, however they react, the kids with appreciate being kept in the loop of what is happening. You need to communicate to them what is going on, why, and the timescale that you are looking at. It can be particularly hard on children if things happen sooner than there were expecting. As they have no time to mentally prepare for the change.

Divide up the time fairly

Now many parents seek to divide up contact time equally when they first separate, But this might not always be practical. It is often the case that the children end up living primarily with one parent or another. This can be because of work and childcare situations, location or practicality. Remember it can be pretty tough for kids to be living out of a suitcase for half their week.

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You need to decide between you what you think is fair, without causing too much distraction to your children’s lives. Just remember that both parents will need quality, and more normal, everyday time with them. So one parent is not in danger of becoming the favorite..

Explore your legal options

Of course, your custody agreement will need to be formalized at some point as well. This is where you need to explore your options by looking into child custody law. It may be that you can agree on custody simply and easily. But if not it helps to know the factors that make custody more likely in certain cases.

Ask them what they want

Of course, you need to think about the practical and legal implications of your custody agreement. But you should also give your kids a chance to say what they actually want too.

Be careful how you do this, as kids can be very loyal and loving. This means that they may opt to stay with the parent that they think needs the most help, rather than the one they actually want to live with.

Talking to an objective third party can help. As can some counseling sessions before they have to make their decision. So they can talk it through with an adult not involved in the situation.

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