It’s not something you read in magazines or see in articles, but marriage can be boring. Sure, you love the person you swapped vows with, but all those little things that dilute a marriage such as work and children eventually stop diluting it. Life takes over and when that happens, the romance and the reasons you pledged your lives to each other in the first place seem to slowly seep away.
The thing is, even when all seems like day to day life is a slog for your family, your marriage is still relevant. You may have had children distract you and you may spend more time worrying about work, but your marriage is still there. Before you call in a family lawyer to help you to dissolve the marriage you once put your all into, why not explore the ways you can save your marriage? No one should stay in a marriage – or a relationship – just for children, but before there were children involved, there were the two of you. You loved each other before, and you can rediscover that love and save the marriage you committed to all those years ago. When it comes to saving a marriage, you have to know whether or not the spark is still there so it’s worth saving. We’ve put together some signs that your marriage still has a shot:
- You know you aren’t perfect. You don’t have to be a perfect person to have a perfect marriage. If you’ve realised that you both have your faults that make each other feel unhappy, then you can identify the factors that made you both unhappy in the first place.
- He can still make you smile, without being there. That whiff of his usual aftershave, the spaghetti sauce he always makes that reminds you of the first time he cooked for you. Scents are the one thing that ties us to memories like nothing else and if certain smells can still bring a smile to your face, then there’s something there worth salvaging.
- The grass wasn’t as green as you thought. Some couples like to take a break from their marriage to decide whether absence really does make the heart grow fonder. The thing is, it’s a risk to do it just in case the other person finds the grass perfectly mowed. If you take that break and realise exactly what you loved about your spouse, there’s something there that you can rediscover.
- You still think of yourself as part of a team. Just because work and children have got in the way over the year, it doesn’t mean you can’t make it work going forward.
Eventually the children will fly the nest and you will be left as ‘strangers’ who need to remember why you fell in love. Don’t forget that you have both grown as people and you have done that with the family you created together. Growing together while growing apart does happen, but that isn’t to say you can come together again and feel accomplished.
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