Rooting for Love: 3 Talks to Have Before Moving in Together

Deciding to move in together is about so much more than finding a spot for your toothbrush in the bathroom – we’ve seen enough episodes of Sex and the City to know this. No matter if you’re moving into your partner’s place, if you’re buying a place together, or if they’re moving into yours; cohabitation is a sensitive topic, and your home can easily be turned into a place filled with pitfalls and ripe with resentment.


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Here is what other couples wish they knew before moving in together, making it a bit easier for you to avoid feeling squeezed out of your own home.


#1 Agree on the payments


The process of moving in together can be fun and exciting. It’s like another sleepover just forever, right? Living together is quite different from spending the night at each other’s place and many couples before you have disappointingly realized this as well.


Before you do anything, it’s important to talk about your expectations. Who should be paying for what, the kind of cable package and other luxurious you might want – and if only one of you wants an expensive package, it’s vital to get this talk over with.


You might feel a bit resentful if you have to pay half of something you never wanted in the first place – and they might feel undermined and ignored if you blatantly refuse. This conversation can start already when you’re looking for apartments, considering a residential architect, and other payments you might need to make before moving in together.


It’s the kind of stuff that fuels an argument later on, so avoid the negative feelings and talk it out before you make the move.


#2 Align your schedules


What we don’t always understand before moving in together is the amount of quality time you’re able to enjoy together now. It might sound strange – and it certainly is strange, but whenever you meet up now and stay at each other’s place, you’ve both cleared your schedules.


It’s a gap in time you get to share with each other before going to your separate places; when you live together, the time you spend with the other one lack this kind of quality. It’s too easy to get caught up in your daily tasks, working on your own schedule, and your loving relationship turns into that of random housemates.


Try to find time to spend with the other one besides from falling asleep by the television in the evenings and align your schedules so that you both have time to set aside. Forgetting this is a sure way to kill the romance between you – and you’ll both long back to the time when you met up on purpose.


#3 Have a candid talk


It might be the last thing you want to discuss when you’re in love, but most couples who moved in together are clear about one thing; they should have discussed the what-ifs. What will happen if you break up, for example, who will continue to live in the apartment, and what will happen if one of you gets sick?


It’s a troubling conversation to have but so important in order for you to build a strong cohabitation foundation.


In case something should happen, it will have a lot to say about your finances, and you can face the changes with a lot more confidence. Talk about it, agree that the future is unpredictable, and give each other a hug when the talk is over.


At least you know that you’re embarking on this new adventure as grown-ups; maybe in love and spontaneous, but still responsible enough to think ahead.


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