As a mom, taking care of your family and children will always be the most important thing in your life. No matter what is going on around you, you always feel the need to fiercely protect your little ones from anything that could upset or harm them. There might be a lot of changes going on in your household right now that you might not have been expecting. Whether you and your partner are going through a rough patch or there has been a sudden death in the family, it can all be very overwhelming to deal with. Instead of hiding the problems from your children it is important to let them know that life isn’t perfect. As long as they feel loved and protected, you should never feel worried about being honest with them. Your job as a family is to come together as one unit and build each other up during these tough times. Consider some of the following life altering events that might be affecting your family right now and think about how you might handle them.
Separation and Divorce
When things aren’t quite going in the right direction between you and your partner, it can be very easy to crumble into a state of despair. Going through a divorce is life changing event that won’t be an easy decision for anybody to make. If you’re worried about conflict, you might want to consider a collaborative divorce process. This is a respectful negotiation between yourselves and attorneys, so that you do not need to go to court. You can settle your differences and figure out a mutual plan, rather than go through lengthy legal processes in order to split your assets and figure out your custody agreements. With any separation case, you will need to figure out a way to discuss these issues with your children. Make sure they are fully aware of the changes going on and emphasise that both of their parents love them no matter what the outcome.
Close Family Death
When someone in the family passes away, you always want to do everything you can to protect your children. Bringing up the difficult topic of death can be extremely taxing for many parents, simply because it’s a sensitive subject to start discussing. Depending on the age of your children, you will need to find a way to gently break the news to them. Whether it’s their grandparent, aunt or cousin who has passed away, they need to understand the process of life and death. Be open and willing to answer any questions they have and be sure to talk about the topic in an age appropriate way.
Health Problems
If you, your partner or somebody else in your immediate family is diagnosed with a serious illness, it can have a huge knock on effect on your loved ones. Your children will have a lot of questions about what is happening, especially if the health problems are very noticeable. They deserve to know that someone is sick and what the potential effects are going to be. The kids will probably catch onto more than you think, so don’t try and hide anything from them if you can.
Financial Worries
When a family is going through financial turmoil it can put huge strains on everybody involved. Perhaps one of you is out of work at the moment and you’re struggling to make ends meet. No matter what the reason is behind your financial worries, it will be on your mind a lot of the time. The best thing you can do, is to remain practical about the situation at all times. Make cutbacks and explain to the kids that you might not be able to go on vacation for a little while. Learning how to get out of financial problems as a family is a huge hurdle, which might cause disputes and arguments. Stay as calm as possible and you will find a way out of it at some point,
Family Disputes
When it comes to resolving conflicts within your family, it might not be easy to come to terms with right away. Families can fall out and frictions can be caused for many reasons. This type of upset can cause a lot of tension between a group of people, so try to be civil whenever you can. When there are children involved it is very important to take the moral high ground sometimes, so don’t ever let the little ones see you fighting. No matter how annoyed you might be at somebody in your family, sometimes you just need to settle your differences for the greater good of everybody else around you.
Moving House
Moving to a completely new area is going to cause a lot of changes for everybody in your family. Perhaps your partner has a new job and you need to move to a different state or maybe you all wanted a change. Make sure you explain the move to your kids clearly, so that they understand what is going on. Allow them plenty of time to settle into their new environment properly and bring a little piece of their old home with them if you can.
Some of these life changing events will be completely out of your control and other are entirely preventable. You can’t always expect your life to be smooth sailing and full of joy; of course there are going to be moments of sadness, anger and fear. Expose your children to as much of this as you feel comfortable, but try not to lie about anything if you can. Use age appropriate ways to explain the different situations and you will soon feel at ease with all of your decisions. It will never be easy to face up to some of these unexpected events in your life, but try and stay positive whenever possible. You will always have your children and friends to lean on for support, so never feel like you’re in any of this alone. Over time things will soon start to brighten up, so keep smiling and deal with every situation as it arises.
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