Communicating your needs is not always easy, and as women we do not do very well in asking for help. When you are pregnant, you are made to feel as if you have to go through alone and deal with whatever comes at you because you have asked for this experience in life. This is not the case and we cannot stress enough.
When you are pregnant, there are resources out there to help you and answer questions for you that you may have such as https://embracegrace.com/help-for-pregnant-women. But what comes next? Postnatal care is something that is lacking in almost every country in the world. During pregnancy, you see midwives and doctors regularly to be able to track the progress of you and your baby. After pregnancy the visits are few and far between and you are expected to go through the process of labor, giving birth and then you are handed a brand new human and told to deal with it annually. You need help. Here are some of the best strategies for making sure that you ask and you ask properly.
- Talk about what you need a big part of asking for help is making sure that you tell people what you need right now. And be concise about it! You need to have useful assistance, and you’re not going to get that unless you are specific. If you are in desperate need of a shower and someone just to hold the baby for 5 minutes so that you can go and do that in those early days, say so. Text a friend and ask them if they have space for dinner and could they bring some over. The friends in your life would be happy to help.
- Keep a to-do list handy. When you have a newborn baby, time seems to stop. Every day and every hour seem to merge into one another. The housework stops, you even stop prepping food properly and that’s something that you need to keep going with so you can be healthy and offer your baby the best nutrition. Keeping a physical list on the fridge won’t just help you to sort through all the chaos, it gives you some direction for those moments when you do have a spare set of hands to help you. Putting in a load of laundry or giving the toilet or scrub or even just making you a sandwich is something that any of your friends and family can do for you when they visit.
- Don’t be afraid to ask in the first place. Reaching out once it’s hard enough, and it can feel very uncomfortable to basically beg for help. Tell all of your friends and family before the baby arrives that they should never offer you help if they don’t intend to give it to you. Your needs should not be ignored, and you also have to understand that while people are busy, if they’re going to offer help, take it up. Say yes and ask them to come and help you. There is no shame in asking for an additional set of hands.
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