Growing Old With Grace: Taking Care Of Your Elderly Loved Ones

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Healthcare has improved dramatically over the last fifty years, and as a result, people are starting to live longer and longer. On the surface, this is great news. Who wouldn’t want to spend more years with their loved ones? The idea of our kids getting to know our grandparents sounds fantastic. But the fact that people live longer means that dementia and Alzheimer’s disease are grabbing hold of more and more of our elderly loved ones, and we have to figure out how best to care for them while living our own lives. Here’s how to do that…

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Get Medical Advice

Make the most of your doctor’s expertise. If you’ve noticed that an elderly loved one has started to lose vocabulary or get confused, take him or her to the doctor. Although no one wants to hear an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, it’s important to try to get it, so you can care for them as well as you can. Although there is no medication that can reverse dementia, there are some drugs that can keep it stable. The earlier the diagnosis, the sooner you’ll be able to help.

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Adapt Their Homes

If your elderly relative is frail, it’s a good idea to look online for aids to help improve the quality of their lives, and that might just help you to stop worrying about them as much. Buy them a walker so they can get about more easily, and get a stair lift and a shower seat installed in their home. Look around in their house to make sure all the walk ways are clear and that it isn’t messy and full of stuff that could be potentially tripped over. Make sure all the edges of carpets and rugs are carefully secured to the floor and that nothing they might need is too high up for them to reach. Check out this review of ADT medical alert system and look online for more options to help you feel secure in the knowledge that if your relative needs help, they can get it.

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Be Patient

Caring for your elderly relatives might be a privilege, but it’s also a difficult thing to do. We’re used to caring for our children, but the joy of that is watching them grow and develop. Sleepless nights are tough to deal with if there’s a baby involved, but being woken up multiple times during the night by a grandparent with dementia is an altogether harder and sadder thing to go through, because there is considerably less hope for the future. It is undeniably frustrating and upsetting, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to martyr yourself by pretending that you’re totally okay with it. Just try to take steps back whenever you can – if you’re frustrated or upset, take deep breaths and try to get calmer instead of getting wound up. Keep talking to your loved one as they might have changed but they’re still there underneath. They might not remember what they had for breakfast but they’ll probably recall events from their childhood.

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Give Yourself Breaks

If you have siblings, encourage them to do their part too. You should not be the only person looking after your elderly relatives because then you’ll get physically and mentally exhausted, and your own life will suffer. Cut yourself some slack and remember that you don’t have to be on call 24/7 – make sure that you live your own life too. If you’re seriously tired, look into respite care for a week so you can go on vacation. This may be expensive but it will be very much worth it if you need to recharge your batteries. If you have to look into getting residential care for your relative, don’t feel guilty – you can’t do everything by yourself and it’s important that they live in a safe environment.

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Take It Slowly

Remember to do things at your own pace. Treat yourself gently and give yourself time. If your elderly mother has moved into a retirement or nursing home but she still has a house full of possessions that you need to get rid of, go through them slowly without making too many big decisions too fast. Remember that if she just has one room at a nursing home then she doesn’t need as much stuff – take in favourite ornaments and photographs but bear in mind that she won’t need five standing lamps or her couch any more. You do not have to save everything. Anything that has sentimental value, put into boxes and store them in your attic or basement, before looking through them at a slower pace in the future. Chances are, in a year’s time you’ll realise that there’s not actually as much sentiment attached to the objects as you originally thought, and you’ll feel better about throwing them away or giving them to charity.

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