We have all used the phrase “my/your own worst enemy” at one time or another. Sometimes it is as much in jest as anything else. Sometimes, it is because of a very real problem. We probably all know at least one person who exhibits behavior that could be described as “self-destructive”. We may wonder aloud why they do it. This person is so smart, so beautiful, so good – why do they hurt themselves?
When someone close to you behaves in a way like that, your reaction may be any one of a range of possibilities. You may be angry – “All you have going for you, and you’re determined to throw it away!”. It can put a colossal strain on your relationship with them. You may well be understanding, knowing that it’s not all their fault. But at the bottom of it all, there is always the worry – that they won’t get the help they need before it’s too late.
When Your Friend Is An Addict
Some of us are fortunate enough to never have to see a friend battle addiction. For those of us who do, it can be scarring. This friend when sober is considerate, funny and intelligent. But the moment drugs are introduced, they change. Funny, intelligent people can be insecure. They can be racked with self-loathing. And when they want a holiday from reality, they find it in a damaging way.
Why Do People Hurt Themselves?
Attitudes towards drug users can often be dismissive and judgemental. We’ve all heard someone react to an overdose death by saying “Well, one less junkie in the world”. The implication in this attitude is that users use because they’re inherently bad people. The truth is that people become addicts because their reality is painful and they need to escape it.
The same thing is present in people who exhibit suicidal tendencies. Even if they never use drugs, they want to be away from what’s hurting them. They’re not throwing your love back in your face – they just don’t feel it for themselves.
How Do You Help An Addict?
When someone becomes an addict, it is rarely anything to do with simple hedonism. Below the surface, they will be dealing with demons that make them want to escape. People may use to blot out the pain from abuse, bullying, bereavement or depression, to name just four.
Treating the root cause of their addiction is essential if they’re not to relapse. A system like dual diagnosis addiction rehab is suitable, as it gives them a positive way to deal with the pain. By putting their demons to rest constructively, they create a framework where they don’t need drugs.
In truth, there is no one reason people get addicted. Some people live through the most unimaginable stresses and never touch drugs. Others use drugs in a moment of weakness and then hang on because they like it, initially. It depends on the person, and for us to think “Well, I’ve been through a lot and I don’t even drink”, as some do, is counter-productive.
If someone close to you becomes an addict, it’s natural to think “Why do they do this?” or “I’m so angry I could scream at them”. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t have some frustration about it. The reason you’re scared is because you love them and don’t want to lose them. But if you can channel that fear into positive action, and persuade them to do the same, that is the best way to break the cycle.
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