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The cracks can be there for years, and it can take a long time for these cracks to widen, and the perception we’re giving out to the world that we are a happy family is a sham. Lots of people go for years without admitting there is a problem. But, deep down, the inclination to give up can rear its head all too often. Marriage isn’t easy, but is there a point where we have to cash in our chips and give up?
Have You Tried Your Best?
We can think we’ve worked hard at it, but when the reality of the situation comes and divorce becomes a real topic of discussion, we might be shocked at the fact that we’ve not done everything we can for the other person. What’s very difficult is to hear that everything we have done hasn’t been good enough. In the divorce mediation process, we could hear things that feel like such an attack of our character, that we’ve been unfair, or just horrible. And these things can be incredibly upsetting. But the reality of the situation hits home: we haven’t tried our best.
Is Communication In Lockdown?
We can spend so long putting up a wall between ourselves and our partner, that after a few years, the cracks begin to show, and we can’t take it anymore. Body language has become stilted, and we can realize we’ve not had a conversation of worth with our significant other for months, if not years. It’s easy enough to let this slip when we have children, life admin, and other problems. And in fact, we can use these as an excuse to not address the real issues. But by the time it gets to this point, if we’re both not willing to budge, it can be too late.
The Emotional Affair
If we start to look outside of our marriage for kicks, not just physical ones, but emotional ones, we have to decide if we are pursuing these because we’re unhappy in our current relationship. People change, and people will cheat. But also, marriages can get back together and strengthen as a result of these. Even an emotional affair, one where the partner has illicit thoughts about someone else, can make them realize that there’s something in the marriage that they’re not getting. This could be sexual, or this could be emotional. Do you think this is reason alone to give up on a marriage? Some do, and some don’t.
Giving up on a marriage is a very definite statement. Giving up implies that you’ve tried your best. But even if you think you’ve tried everything, you’ve got to decide whether it’s just too late. Sometimes the decision is easy, the other person has made it for us, by their actions. But because giving up on a marriage is not just about two people parting, but there are others that need to be accounted for, like children, we have to know, deep down, if we have done everything we can. People try, and people give up, and there are those that stick it through, but you have to know when you’re at breaking point.
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