5 Tips to Make a Divorce Go Smoother

We all want our happily ever after and fairytale wedding (or at least fairytale marriage), but sometimes life gets in the way. You can’t expect the unexpected and I’ve even been shocked by hearing of a looming divorce from a couple I never ever thought would be in that place. Heck, even I have been there. It’s not something you plan for, but if you have to deal with it, here are 5 tips to make a divorce go smoother.

Take Care of Yourself

Getting a divorce is incredibly stressful, no matter how amicable. You are uprooting and changing your life and that of your children (if you have any). Make sure you are practicing self care by eating well, getting enough rest, and talking to someone if need be. It’s pretty common to seek out a therapist or support group to work through the stress of this major life event. 

Get a Mediator or Lawyer

One of the first things you will do once you’ve decided to get a divorce is seek out a qualified divorce lawyer. Look for a firm that specializes in divorce, such as these Tampa divorce attorneys. Go in prepared with as much information as possible. You may need to hand over bank accounts and mutual assets, proof of any wrongdoing (if you are going that route), or other legal documentation. The divorce lawyer will guide you through this process, of course, but be prepared to have to do some homework.

Be Open with the Kids

Children are incredibly perceptive. It may be tempting to hold off on telling them about the divorce, but they do need to know. If at all possible, sit down together as a family to explain the situation to them and answer any questions they may have. Checking into family or child therapy for a little while may help the transition. You may feel awful about “breaking up” the family, but they would have suffered more through constant fighting and unhappiness. 

Pick your Battles and Fight Fair

Figure out what is truely important to you. Instead of fighting over ownership of every little thing, make a list of what is truly important to you and fight/mediate for that. Certain belongings or time with children are important to consider. If you want primary custody of the kids, focus on that first.

While it may be hard, keep an open line of communcation and fight fair during the process. This will make a smoother transition for everyone, but especially for children. Don’t blast them on social media or talk down on them to your children. This is already an incredibly confusing time for them and the last thing they need is to feel like they are caught in the middle and have to choose sides. 

Don’t Hide Things

Don’t try to hide any assets in the divorce. Not only is this illegal, it’s morally wrong and can open up a huge can of worms (discovery by the other lawyers). Your ex would then have ammunition in court or could possibly sue down the line if or when it is discovered. 

 

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